Intimacy is a complex emotion that can often go missing in long-term relationships. It isn’t something that will stick around on its own. If you don’t work on maintaining it, then you might find yourself wondering why you’re with the person you’re with.
Building intimacy in a relationship
The foundation of good sex with your partner is intimacy. It’s the thing that lets us trust and feel confident that we are trusted. Without it, you might find yourself having the same, boring, vanilla sex every night or just giving up altogether. A lot of sex advice columns are ready to dish out advice on how to spice up the sex in your relationship, and this advice is good, but without intimacy, you might find it difficult to act on.
If you often feel that the spark has gone or that you’re not as close with your partner as you used to be, you don’t have to worry. A lot of people assume that this means it’s time to break up and move on, but if you believe your relationship is worth saving, then bringing back the intimacy might be all you need. If you’re willing to work at it and then enjoy all the benefits of an intimate relationship, try these simple steps to bring back the intimacy.
Feeling taken for granted or ignored is a romance killer. If you feel like you and your partner are just going through the motions and living individual lives under the same roof, it might be time to think about why this is happening. Rather than getting frustrated at the things your partner doesn’t do, take a moment to appreciate the things they do for you. Acknowledge small gestures like making your coffee in the morning.
Learn to communicate
Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. You simply cannot survive as a couple without learning how to speak. More importantly, you both need to know how to listen. Falling back on ignoring your partner and simply saying what you think they want to hear is a lazy pitfall that can negatively impact your relationship. Find time to talk and make the effort to listen to what your partner has to say. Active listening is a useful skill to learn that will help to strengthen your relationship and can help to start conversations about more fun things, like what you both want in the bedroom.
Keep things playful
You don’t want your relationship to feel like a 24-hour therapy session. It’s not all about deep and meaningful conversations. Sometimes, you just need a little bit of fun to reignite the spark. Make time for fun in your relationship. Try going back to the same places you used to go when you first started dating. Take a trip to the cinema and fool around in the back row. Or, try introducing a fun new sex toy into the bedroom. Keep things light to avoid turning your relationship into a full-time job. The rest of your life might be stressful, so it’s important that you make space in your relationship to have fun.
Try something new
Intimacy is all about being vulnerable. Trying something new – preferably something that gets your pulse racing – is a great way to rebuild the bonds of your relationship. Try a new water sport or take a trip to a theme park to try a terrifying new ride. Find something that you’ve both always wanted to do and make it happen together. New experiences are what help to break the monotony of everyday life.
Get back to flirting
Not with other people, mind! Flirting is often the first thing that goes when we get comfortable in a relationship. But flirting is a great way to remind your partner that they are still sexy as hell in your eyes. Flirting with your partner, either in person or over text, is a great way to bring back some of that 'early relationship spark' that many people miss. You might not be able to experience those first kiss butterflies all over again, but you can bring back some of that first date charm. Flirting can also help to boost your confidence in and out of the bedroom.