Confidence isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone, and it isn’t something you can turn on when you want. You might be feeling confident as hell all week, but then when it comes to the bedroom you end up feeling completely blah. The first thing to remember is that this is completely normal!
Top ways to boost your confidence in the bedroom
If you’re willing to shake things up and try something new, you’ll soon be able to give yourself a confidence boost no matter how crummy you’re feeling. It’s important to be able to recognise your feelings and figure out what is draining your confidence. Once you’ve addressed the root cause, you can start trying new things to help boost your confidence and get you feeling incredible in the bedroom.
Take the lead
If you’re always following your partner’s lead and waiting for them to come up with the next idea, you can always try giving them instructions for once. Taking the lead in the bedroom is a great way to boost your confidence and make you feel sexy as hell. It can be as simple as you jumping on top for once and calling the shots. This means you get to set the pace and give all the instructions. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! If you’re not sure how to ask for what you want in the bedroom, follow out simple advice.
Get in character
When people think of role play, they often think of donning a maid’s costume and putting on a dodgy French accent. This isn’t the only way you can bring role-playing into the bedroom. Think about your favourite confident-as-hell musician and channel their energy in the bedroom. Pop on a wig, blast out one of their tunes and get yourself in the mood for some fun. Acting like someone else for a few hours is a great way to channel a confident persona, even if you’re feeling anything but confident.
Try a pole dancing class
Pole dancing isn’t about stripping. Get that out of your mind. Pole dancing is fast becoming the go-to activity for women wanting to tone up, increase flexibility and boost their confidence. The fact that you’ll learn some hella sexy moves along the way is just a coincidence. Invest in a dance pole for your bedroom and give your partner a quick show before the main event to boost your confidence.
Splurge on fancy lingerie
True, it might not stay on for long, but sexy lingerie has its place in foreplay. Choosing something that you wouldn’t normally wear is a great way to boost your confidence. Your usual bra and pants might look incredible, but looking for something in a racy red lace or something completely different like kinky latex is a great way to throw your confidence off the charts.
Pop your lingerie on before your partner gets home, lavish your skin with oil to get the underwear model look and lounge around in a silk kimono until they get home. Not sure which lingerie works for you? We’ve put together this handy lingerie buying guide.
Set the mood
If your usual romp routine involves flicking off the light switch and climbing under the covers, it’s time to shake things up. Building the perfect playlist is essential as a spot of music helps to mask any embarrassing sounds. Put all your favourite confidence-boosting tracks on there and never trust the shuffle.
Next up, lighting. It’s a fact that both men and women prefer the lights off, but fumbling around in the dark is rarely sexy. Instead, switch your bedroom light with a dimmable and colour-changing light bulb. Bonus points if you can control it from your phone.
And finally, ditch the Febreeze and fill the air with something a little more sensual. Vanilla and cinnamon are naturally sensuous scents, but you can also opt for something more evocative like jasmine or sandalwood. Put on your extra special perfume, and arm yourself with some scented massage oils to up the sensory appeal Setting the scene in this way is a great way to amp up the ambience and boost your confidence at the same time.