We’ve spoken a lot about the importance of asking for what you really want in the bedroom. Talking about this in general terms is easy enough and you might soon find that you are very confident talking about what you want. Many couples discover that talking about it is much easier than actually putting their kinky plans in motion.
One area of sexual exploration that many people shy away from is role play. Done correctly, it can be hot as hell and lead to some of the kinkiest sex you’ll ever have. Done incorrectly and it can leave you both red in the face and unable to look each other in the eye until breakfast the next day.
How to introduce roleplaying
If you’re keen to give role play a go but aren’t really sure where to start, you’ve come to the right place. Bringing role play into your everyday life doesn’t have to be difficult and you don’t need training from RADA to make it work for you. Here are the Pleasure Delights top tips for introducing role play without feeling cringey.
Get it out in the open
Roleplay isn’t something you’re going to want to spring on someone without warning. Unless your partner is down for everything and likely to get on board right away, you might come up against some resistance. Talk it through first and make sure your partner is on board with making this fantasy a reality.
Figure out your scenario
A common problem couples face is finding the right scenario. Role play gets a bad rep because people assume it’s just about dressing up in a French maid costume, putting on a dodgy accent and begging for a spanking. This scenario works for some people, but not for everyone. There are plenty of scenarios you can try that won’t make you feel silly. It can be a fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore, such as a crush you had as a teenager. Or it could be something from film or TV that always gets you hot and bothered. If you’re direct enough, it could just be a scene from your favourite porn film.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Boss and intern
- Cheerleader and coach
- The inappropriate masseuse
- Model and photographer
- Dominant and submissive
Tone down the acting
One thing that puts a lot of people off roleplaying is the amount of acting involved. If this is something that will preoccupy you or your partner, look for a scenario with very little acting involved. This might mean just popping on a fun costume or a wild wig and roleplaying in this way. Others might want to look for easier scenarios like dominant/submissive situations or trying a role reversal in which the usually dominant partner takes a back seat and lets their other half take control.
Take the drama from the screen to your bedroom
There’s no shortage of TV and film moments that we wish we could write alternative endings to. The next time you’re watching a hot scene on TV and the action trails off and leaves the rest to your imagination, why not pick up where they left off? Assume the role of the characters and see where the drama takes you. You’ll never have to get hot and bothered by a “will they, won’t they” TV plot ever again.
Meet as complete strangers
This is a common roleplaying game for couples that have been together for a long time and want to spice things up. Pretending that you are strangers meeting for the first time in a bar is a great chance to act out all the things you’ve always wanted to do in the safe environment of a roleplaying situation. You don’t even need to create new characters, you just need to make believe that you’re meeting for the first time. This is the ideal scenario if you’re away on holiday as moving the action to a hotel room can really amp up the drama.
Know your limits
Roleplaying isn’t a green light to do whatever you want and you still need to respect your partner’s boundaries. To make sure you are able to nudge the limits of role play without crossing any lines, it’s important to have a safe word. This will ensure both parties are happy and confident that they are respecting the other person’s boundaries.