Exploring group sex for the first time can be equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. Like any bedroom antics, if you prepare yourself and know what to expect, you’ll have a much more enjoyable time.
You might have some pretty shaky preconceived notions about what to expect thanks to the porn industry. The group sex seen in porn only offers a very narrow view of what you can actually expect. So, before you seek out your first group sex encounter make sure you consider the following.
Group sex can mean many different things. Perhaps you have arranged a threesome with your partner and another person. Or perhaps you’ve been invited to a sex party and want to know what to expect. Here are some of the most common terms used to describe group sex and what you can expect:
Circle Jerk: Members of the same sex explore mutual masturbation
Daisy Chin: Pparticipants give and recieve oral sex in a circle.
Gang bang: A number of people perform sex acts on one individual.
Double penetration: Two people simultaneously penetrate one person.
Threesome or foursome: A group of three or four people engage in sexual acts.
Orgies: Participants freely engage in sexual acts as part of a large group.
Swinging: Couples switch partners.
As you can see, there are plenty of different ways to engage in group sex. If you have any of the fantasies above and you are single, you will be free to explore once you are ready. If you are in a relationship, you may need to explore these fantasies with your partner before you go ahead. When exploring group sex for the first time, always remember the following:
You don’t have to put on an act or pretend you are cool and confident. It’s okay to be nervous and to be open about these feelings. If you are engaging in group sex with people you don’t feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with, you might want to question if you are in a safe environment.
Don’t be afraid to say it is your first time or that you aren’t sure what you are doing. Everyone had to experience their first time at some point, so there is no sense in hiding this fact. Some people may enjoy having the opportunity to share their experiences with you.
You won’t have a safe and enjoyable experience if you don’t communicate. When you are with one person, it can be easy to fall into a routine that doesn’t require communication. When there is more than one person to think about, routines are thrown out of the window and you have to write your own script. This is why open and honest communication is essential.
Make sure you can communicate your boundaries, interests and desires. You should also be comfortable talking about your STD status if asked. If you are engaging in sexual acts with multiple people, safety should be your main concern.
Safety is about more than just using condoms for people and toys. You should also develop safe words which can be used to call a timeout, change the direction of play or stop proceedings altogether. If bondage will play a role in your group sex, then this is even more important.
If you are exploring group sex with your partner, you might want to have your own code words to let your partner know if you are uncomfortable or unhappy with the way things are moving forward. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and forget that jealousy can be a very real issue, even between partners who enjoy group sex.
Never assume that consent for one act will carry over to the next. With group sex, you not only have to think about the progression of play, but also switching focus to another person. Always ensure you have consent before trying something new.
If this becomes annoying you can always agree to blanket consent until someone uses a safe word. Obviously, this will only work if everyone is happy to do so. But however you decide to proceed, make sure that everyone involved is on board.
