In the past, a lot of talk around relationships has focussed on getting sexual satisfaction. We’re now taking a far more sophisticated approach and looking at something known as sexual happiness. There are clear differences between the two and in this blog post, we’ll share our thoughts on why you should be aiming for happiness instead of satisfaction if you want to be a more giving partner.
So, what is sexual happiness?
The main difference between sexual happiness and sexual satisfaction is that you can achieve satisfaction alone, even if you’re with a partner. Happiness is all about making sure that you and your partner get what you want in the bedroom. It prioritises both of your needs, rather than taking a selfish approach. It’s all about having more of the sex you want, while also exploring what your partner wants.
By focussing on sexual happiness rather than satisfaction you’ll soon discover that you get a lot more out of your relationship. And you don’t have to be in a relationship to focus on your sexual happiness. It’s all about having more of the kind of sex that you want. So if you’re flying solo, this can mean anything from more satisfying one-night stands to exploring masturbation like never before.
How do I achieve sexual happiness?
There are three main steps to achieving sexual happiness…
It sounds simple enough, but you’d be surprised how much people struggle with these steps. You have to dig down deep to really get to the heart of what you want in the bedroom. You have a find a place where you can approach these steps without shame, because shame is the one thing that will guarantee you have average sex. Sex should be fun, so let’s explore the ways you can be honest, curious and your best self…
Be honest about what you want
Some people know exactly what they want but don’t know how to ask for it. If this sounds like you, we’d recommend learning how to communicate with your partner. Follow our tips on how to talk about what you want in the bedroom. Not only do you need to be honest about what you do want, but you should also be honest about what you don’t want.
Be curious and willing to explore
It may be that you don’t even know what you want yet because you’ve been too afraid to explore. Sexual exploration is one of the greatest pleasures in life. Being curious enough to try a new vibrator, or shake things up with a new position is something to strive for. And if you’re already pretty curious in the bedroom, don’t downplay this trait!
Be your best self
Learning to love the skin you’re in is difficult. It’s something that even the most confident people can struggle with at times. If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others on social media, the best thing to do is to unfollow anything that makes you feel less than 100%. Fill your life with people who lift you up and make you feel incredible, and don’t be afraid to ditch anyone who brings you down. You’ll find it a lot easier to be honest and curious if you are comfortable being yourself.
What if our desires aren’t compatible?
The biggest question people have when they start talking about sexual happiness is: what if my needs aren’t compatible with my partner’s needs, and vice versa. If your partner is telling you they want to try something in the bedroom that you aren’t happy with, are you getting in the way of their sexual happiness?
The short answer is no, absolutely not.
The long answer is both partners need to be on board with everything, so it might be a case of finding a compromise or middle ground. A huge part of achieving sexual happiness as part of a couple is learning to explore together. If one of you is more adventurous in the bedroom than the other only you can decide if it’s worth making the relationship work. This is one area where only you can decide if the compromise is worth it.