taking a break

We’ve all talked to people who are taking a break in their relationship for one reason or another.  Maybe they have been having arguments and think some time apart might help.  Or they are trying a trial separation to see if they want to get back together or not.  Whatever the reason, does taking a break ever really help a relationship?

What taking a break means

Taking a break can mean different things to different couples.  For some couples, they remain faithful to one another but simply live apart for a while.  For others, it is a chance to do some dating, maybe engage in a fantasy or two about Adult Toys for Him that they have been nursing for a while and their partner isn’t interested in.  

Therefore, it is important that the couple outlines to each other exactly what taking a break is going to mean for them.  If you have different ideas, this can lead to huge problems that will often end the relationship – and sometimes people use this as a way to do just that.

How it can work

The thing about taking a break is that it can work for some couples in one way or another.  Often taking a break is a great way to clarify the relationship – are the problems terminal and the time apart merely accents this?  Do one of you want to start seeing other people and taking a break is a way to do this?  Or does it help strengthen the relationship after the break?

It can also give you a chance to look at the fundamentals of the relationship.  For example, do you have major personality types that just aren’t compatible no matter how much work you put in?  Some character clashes just won’t go away, no matter how much effort you put into them.  Other times, the breakaway can make you realise flaws in yourself that you can work on to be a better partner.

Taking a break can also be a chance for you to look at your life goals.  Maybe you want kids, but your partner isn’t so keen – is this something that you can overcome on one or other parts or is it a killer for the relationship?  Do they love to travel but you want to be at home with your family and friends most?

Practical tips

If you are going to use taking a break as a practical tool to help your relationship, you need to think about a time frame.  Three months might work or six months if you have been together since you were young and want some freedom.  Whatever the time frame, set it out at the start and try to stick to it.

Also, discuss things like social media – do you stay in touch via it or cut off contact for a while?  Do you text each other regularly (you might have to if you have kids) or do you keep contact to a minimum?  Lay out how the break is going to work and you have a better chance of using it rather than just coming back together with the same problems as before.

 

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