Many people dismiss anal sex following a poorly-prepared fumble that leaves them in pain or red in the face. The truth is that anal sex requires a little bit of preparation, and without it, you could be missing out on a whole world of sexual stimulation.
You might also need to talk about it before you plunge in, and this can be difficult if you don’t have the type of relationship that can comfortably discuss anal. And if you’ve had a bad experience in the past, it could be enough to put you off the idea forever.
But we’re here to say that not all anal experiences will be terrible, and with good communication and a plan in place, you can find a way to make it enjoyable for all involved. So if you’re ready to unlock this new level in the bedroom, read on…
The biggest barrier to anal is the ick factor. And when you’re dealing with a hole that is primarily used to get poop out of your body, it’s understandable that you’re a little nervous about introducing it into your bedroom antics.
The trick to get over the ick factor is to get clean and confident beforehand. A long bath can help you to feel more comfortable and relaxed. You could also try an anal douche to make sure any remaining debris is removed before you start playing. And finally, having a little trim around the area might make you feel more confident about your partner encountering your bum hole.
Under no circumstances should you approach anal play without the right lube to hand. You need something thicker than usual, and try to steer away from any warming or cooling lube as this might make you feel unusual. You should also skip the desensitising lube as this can lead to injury.
Choose something that will work with any toys you’re planning to use. Water-based lubricant is often a safe choice as you’ll be able to use this with silicone and rubber toys.
Don’t run straight into penetration. You need to get warmed up and used to the sensations with something smaller, such as a finger or sex toy. A slimline butt plug is ideal, as you can wear it while you enjoy foreplay.
As you feel more comfortable and confident, you can progress to a larger toy, or try a dildo or penis. Just make sure you go slowly and listen for feedback. You might discover that you like it harder or faster later, but this is the time for slow and gentle penetration.
You should also discuss a safe word in advance and make sure this is clear before you get started. If you feel uncomfortable or something hurts, play needs to stop immediately.
After anal sex, you might want to hop straight in the shower together to clean up. This isn’t an occasion when you can just fall asleep, as it’s really important that you both clean up properly.
You’ll also need to clean and sanitise any toys that you’ve been using. With anal sex, the stakes are a little higher when it comes to infection control, so you need to make sure you are clean and responsible for your own health and the health of your partner.
It might sound a lot more involved, but there are many perks to be enjoyed with anal stimulation. Just remember that you can’t switch between vaginal and anal penetration without cleaning up between, and toys should never be shared between holes.