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5 Ways To Start A Conversation About What You Want in the Bedroom

May 10, 2018
By, laura

Talking about what you want in the bedroom can be a difficult task. It involves being open with your partner about your deepest desires, and this can be hard, even if you’re incredibly close.

You might have great sex, but you want to try something new. Or you might want to initiate more sex, or sex in unusual places. Whatever it is, the only way you are going to get what you want is by asking. So, here are 5 ways to start a conversation about what you want in the bedroom, without hurting anyone’s feelings.

Turn The Question On Your Partner

The easiest way to move the conversation onto bedroom desires is to start by asking your partner what they like. You might discover that your partner has some similar ideas to you but has been too afraid to ask. Or you might discover that they have some different ideas that you’re willing to try.

Once you’ve worked your way through the list of things your partner has always wanted to try, the conversation should naturally flow back to you. At this point, you can act all coy like you’ve never thought about it before and then casually rattle off your list. Before long, you’ll be having the best sex of your life.

Weave It Into Foreplay

When you’re already in the mood, this is a great time to start exploring your sexual boundaries. You can make this important conversation part of your foreplay and use dirty talk as a way to plant the seeds for what is to come. Don’t worry about dropping hints, just talk your partner through exactly what you want and blame it on the heat of the moment.

Once you’ve tried this method a few times, you’ll soon be able to reference “that thing you tried that one time” and your partner should know exactly what you mean. Talking about what you want will soon become as normal as talking about what you want for dinner.

Turn to Text

Sometimes, it’s just easier to have a conversation over text. It can be a little sexier and you don’t have to worry about your bright red face giving away that you’re a little uncomfortable. Drop hints in a text about what you want and then wait for the response. Chances are, your partner will take your text as foreplay and you’ll soon be having sex exactly as you like it.

“Can I Tell You A Secret…?”

This is a great conversation opener as it sets the stage for what is to come. It lets your partner know that you want to share something that will make you vulnerable, and should shift the mood accordingly. Once you’ve cleared the air and set the tone for your conversation, you’ll soon find you relax into talking about your deepest desires. This conversation starter is ideal for after-sex pillow talk when you are both similarly vulnerable. This gives you an even playing field to make sure you have the best possible opportunity to say what you want.

“I thought it was really sexy when…”

This method might involve external sources, such as a racy scene on TV or in a movie. Start the conversation by referencing something you’ve seen, and then slip in that you found it really sexy. This will naturally lead to a conversation about your individual kinks and what you’d be willing to try out.

If you’re not sure exactly what you want in the bedroom, but you just want to be a little more adventurous, this can be a great place to start. You might find that a scene in a movie will spark a whole conversation and your partner will reveal what they’ve always wanted to try.

However you broach the subject, it’s important that you have these conversations. And sex toys can help. Remember that you have a right to be satisfied in your relationship, and your partner should want to make this happen for you. If something isn’t working in the bedroom, it’s always best to bring it out in the open and talk things through. It might be difficult to get the conversation started, but once you have an open dialogue about the subject, it will become much easier to talk about what turns you on.

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