It’s an all-too-common question asked by men these days… does enjoyment of anal play suggest that they might be interested in men? The short answer is, no, anal play does not make you gay. Enjoyment of a single sexual activity isn’t what makes you attracted to men. But let’s pick apart what this question really means.
There are several reasons you might be asking this question. The most common is that you have tried and enjoyed anal play, and since you associate anal sex with gay men, this has made you wonder if it could mean something.
If you are asking this because you are curious about your own sexuality, that’s fine. But if you are asking this because you think that being homosexual is wrong, then you need to question your own homophobia. In this case, you aren’t curious about your sexuality, you are fearful of it.
In this blog, we’re going to explore why some men enjoy anal play and why it has become so stigmatised in society. We will also look at what other questions you might ask if you are exploring your sexuality.
There are two main reasons that men enjoy anal play:
Let’s look at why anal play is so pleasurable first. Inside the anus, you’ll find a small gland the size of a walnut. This is called the prostate, and it produces a milky white liquid that makes up about 40% of semen. This gland is incredibly sensitive and is surrounded by smooth muscles that contract to help with ejaculation.
When stimulated, it’s possible to achieve a male orgasm without ever touching the penis. And those with a penis report that this is quite a different experience from a traditional climax, with the overall effect being much more spread out.
So, with this in mind, it’s easy to see how anyone would enjoy anal play, regardless of their sexual preference. To put it simply, anal play feels good, and those who are interested in exploring new ways to feel good in the bedroom are more likely to want to try it.
There is also the mental side to anal play that many men find appealing. From a young age, we are told to stay away from it because it’s dirty and full of germs. Anal play is still very much a taboo topic and one that men are supposed to shy away from. Deriving pleasure from things that are considered “naughty” is not uncommon.
Anal play can also subvert the typical gender roles, particularly if a man’s partner is doing the penetrating. This can be a deeply bonding experience that brings you closer together in passion. It allows a man to feel submissive for once, which can be quite rare.
Yes, anal sex is popular in gay communities, but a lot of straight couples are getting into it too. They just aren’t very open about it. There’s still a lot of shame around anal sex, so couples who are surveyed about their bedroom antics are unlikely to admit to the act.
And it’s worth noting that not all gay couples enjoy anal sex. While some do like to be the giver or the receiver, there are also those who don’t enjoy penetration or being penetrated. It’s a straight myth that all gay men are enjoying anal sex.
Liking anal sex, watching porn starring men, fantasising about men or even carrying out sex acts with men won’t make you gay. It could make you bisexual, pansexual, or simply straight with some broad sexual interests. Instead of worrying about the labels, focus on the pleasure and what feels good for you.
If you’re curious about anal play but aren’t sure how to get started, we’ve got your back. There are a few toys that are perfect for easing you into this new exploration.
A vibrating prostate massager will help you to hit that elusive P-spot and see what all of the fuss is about. These are very easy to control, so you can simply pop them in and let them do their work.
For more advanced anal play, you might want to explore a butt plug. You can leave this in during sex and enjoy the new sensations that this brings.
And finally, when you’re ready to switch up the roles in the bedroom, a strap-on like this will enable your partner to do the penetrating. This can be incredibly sexy, as you’ll be the submissive one for once.
Having an interest in sex toys for men doesn’t mean that you’re interested in men. And even if it did, that would be okay too. It simply means that you are adventurous enough to try something new.