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How to Explore BDSM When You’re Single

January 14, 2023
By, laura

How to Explore BDSM When You’re Single

If you’re curious about BDSM, you might be wondering how to explore this world without a partner. The Dominant/submissive labels go hand in hand, and it can be difficult to explore these situations without the help of another person.

Perhaps you’re curious about BDSM, but you’re not in a relationship at the moment. Or perhaps you’ve recently broken up with a partner and you’re missing the Dom/sub lifestyle. Whatever your situation, there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to explore your kink solo. Read on to learn our top tips for enjoying BDSM while single.

Surround yourself with supportive people

We live in a vanilla world, so if you’re craving a little bit of kink, your usual friends might not be as understanding as you might hope. Surround yourself with a community of kinky individuals if you want to stay connected to that world. Your relationships don’t have to be of a sexual nature, you’re just looking for some understanding and support. They will know what it’s like to crave a particular dynamic, even when you’re single.

Let your fantasies run wild

Now is the time to employ your imagination to do much of the heavy lifting. You might not be bringing any of your ideas to life just yet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in some in-depth fantasies. Porn can help get you started, but what you come up with in your imagination is likely to be far more powerful.

Indulge your senses

There may be some things that just make you feel submissive, even when you’re alone. Try wearing a collar, or try dressing up in leather or latex. You can introduce pain play into your masturbation and try spanking or nipple clamps. You can even experiment with restraints, but make sure you do this safely. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where you can’t escape, so be cautious. For example, try only restraining your ankles, or just restrain one hand.

Educate yourself

If you’re interested in exploring a Dom/sub relationship, you need to be clued up on what this means and how to make sure it’s a healthy relationship. There are plenty of resources out there to help you learn about the lifestyle and how to spot potential red flags in a partner. Once you’re ready to start looking for a kinky relationship, you’ll be in a better position to find a healthy partner.

Learn what you like by exploring your fantasies

Learn what you like

It’s possible to have specific preferences, so now is the time to explore these fantasies and learn what makes you tick. You don’t have to like everything, and having strong preferences and boundaries will make it easier to find a partner when you’re ready. You might enjoy restraints but not pain, or you might have very specific sexual fantasies that you want to explore. Use this time to delve deep into your fantasies and learn what makes you tick, and why.

Explore orgasm control

You need willpower of steel to deny your own orgasm, but this can make it all the more powerful when you finally achieve it. You can explore dragging out the pleasure before you finally reach climax. This is a great little bit of control play that you can enjoy solo, and it will put you in control when it comes to exploring this with a partner in the future.

Try online roleplay

There are plenty of online avenues for exploring your kink. Lots of people take part in online role playing which will enable you to try on the role of sub without actually getting involved with anyone. It’s an excellent way to explore the lifestyle and decide if this is something that works for you. It can also help you to determine exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. 

Stock up on toys

When you’re single, it’s the best time to stock up your toy chest and get rid of anything that reminds you of past relationships. Be adventurous in your choices and look for anything that can be used solo or as part of a couple. Then, when you’re ready to start a new relationship, you’ll be ready to spice things up and enjoy sex that is anything but vanilla.

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