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How to Explore Your Inner Femdom

January 18, 2023
By, laura

How to Explore Your Inner Femdom

OK, first things first, if you’re here looking for information about femidoms, you’re in the wrong place. This post is about femdoms, aka a dominant female. This is a BDSM term to describe when the woman is the “top” and calls all of the shots in the bedroom.

There are many reasons you might explore femdom play. You might like to have your partner call you a specific name in the bedroom, such as mistress. You could also enjoy the dominatrix or domme label. Or you might simply like to be the one calling the shots.

If you love being in charge, then femdom play might be right for you, as long as your partner is on board with being the submissive one. There are plenty of games and activities you can try to explore for the first time and decide if it’s right for your relationship. 

1. Blindfolded

This one is simple enough to try and a great introduction into femdom play. Simply blindfold your partner and let them lie in the dark, aching for you to touch them. You’re in control of what happens, and you have an unobstructed view to enjoy as they lie there, unsure what will happen next. This will tap into the control element, as only you will know what is coming next.

2. Try worship play

For this type of play, your partner needs to get comfortable worshipping a specific part of you. This could be through words of affirmation, exploring your whole body and letting you know what they like, or it could be a specific body part, such as your feet.

Worship play can involve spoken words, kissing, touching, licking or sucking. It’s all about what works for you. You get to lie there and soak up all of that adoration.

3. Restraint play

Tying up your partner can be incredibly liberating, as it means you’ll be in complete control. You could start with some simple wrist restraints and build your way up to something more complex like a hog tie.

When exploring restraint play for the first time, make sure you can always release them in an emergency, and discuss a safe word before you get started.

4. Spanking

That’s right, sometimes women enjoy spanking their partners, too. For some couples, spanking is as vanilla as it gets, but for others it’s the height of kink. Whatever camp you fall into, don’t be afraid to explore different ways to punish your partner’s behind. 

You can try spanking with your hand, or bring a flogger or paddle into the mix. Just be sure to have a safe word they can use if things get a bit too hot to handle. You also need to practise good aftercare, which means reconnecting after the sexual act to make sure everyone feels loved and appreciated.

5. Sissy play

If your partner is confident being the submissive one in your relationship, you could explore sissy play. This role reversal is a form of humiliation play and can involve cross dressing and role play. It’s the perfect way to transfer power from one partner to the other.

Try pegging for the ultimate gender role reversal

6. Pegging

The ultimate gender role reversal, this can help you to explore prostate stimulation while also enjoying an opportunity to be on top for once. Pegging involves using a double-ended dildo or strap-on to penetrate your partner. If you’re used to being on the receiving end, it can be liberating to feel the power of penetration for once. And since the anal opening is loaded with tantalising nerve endings, your partner will enjoy some new and possibly undiscovered sensations.

7. Dress up

OK, it’s not really a role reversal, but dressing up can help you to feel more the part as you explore your femdom side. You could explore leather, latex or anything else that makes you feel powerful and dominant. 

8. Gagging orders

There’s nothing quite like gagging your partner and taking away their voice to make it clear who is in charge. Remember that in this scenario, the sub is really the one in charge, and you’ll need to pay close attention to what is happening so you know if you need to remove the gag. And since you won’t be able to have a safe word, you’ll need a safe gesture, instead.

9. Chastity play

If you want to feel completely in control of your partner, then chastity play could be ideal for you. There are plenty of toys you can explore that will allow you to lock them up, so only you can decide when they can come out to play. 

10. Pain play

Cock and ball torture is the final frontier of femdom play. You need to proceed with extreme caution, as there is the potential for someone to get hurt here, but it should be safe provided you have a safe word. 

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