Finding your kink is a great way to upgrade vanilla sex. While some people are open about this type of exploration, it might not come naturally to everyone. Sometimes, you need a little more coaxing to get your kink to come out into the open.
If you’re in a loving and supporting relationship, discovering your kink together can be fun. It might mean rattling through some ideas that don’t do it for either of you, but when you land on something that gets your engine running, it will be well worth the effort.
Remember that what constitutes “kinky” is completely subjective. What one person finds kinky could be completely vanilla to another person. Kink is all about discovering that extra level of sexual pleasure that is often unique to you.
If you’re ready to discover your kink, read on to learn our tips for coaxing it out of hiding…
You’ll never discover your kink if you always say no to suggestions. Be open-minded about trying new things in the bedroom and see where it leads. You might discover a passion for leather and latex or an interest in anal exploration.
No one is blessed with an encyclopedic knowledge of what turns them on, so sometimes it’s a case of trial and error to land on something that works for you. By saying yes to new experiences and new encounters, you’ll be more likely to discover what works for you.
You don’t have to do all of the hard work on your own. Letting your partner take the lead can open up new avenues you might have never explored before. Taking this journey with your partner can bring you closer together, so make sure that you’re starting in a strong place.
If you try to use kinky sex as a way to mend a relationship on the rocks, you may find the lack of emotional trust makes sharing potential kinks much harder. Be open and honest with your partner about why you want to introduce more kinky sex into your relationship and then let them know about all the fun you’re going to have on the way. They’ll be hard-pressed to say no to an offer like that…
If you and your partner have a go-to category that works for you, try switching it up and watching something new. Trying out ideas you get from your favourite porn videos is a great way to discover if the things that you enjoy watching are also things that you enjoy doing. Like the suggestion above, try letting your partner take the lead and make your bedroom a no-judgement zone.
If you’re interested in something like BDSM but aren’t sure where to get started, there’s no shortage of starter packs to help get your imagination working.
A starter pack will include a few different things to try, so if you’re interested in exploring anal for the first time, you’ll have everything you need to get started. This will also encourage you to try new things in a safe way, as hygiene and safety should always be a priority as you explore new things in the bedroom.
Sometimes the best way to discover your kinks is to get to know yourself on your own. Knowing your own body is an important part of uncovering your kinks, so make an appointment with yourself and start exploring.
Learning to embrace your kinks and then share them with your partner requires you to be completely comfortable with yourself first. Spending some time alone exploring what makes you tick is something that a lot of people don’t get to do. But if you want to uncover your kinks, it might be essential.
Making a point to buy new sex toys regularly can help you to uncover a hidden kink. When you make sex toys an important part of your sexual health and happiness, you’re saying yes to pleasure and no to the shame often attached to it. By embracing new sex toys, you might discover something that you can’t believe you ever lived without before.