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How to boost your partner’s confidence in the bedroom

November 6, 2019
By, laura

It’s often said that confidence is the most attractive quality you can have. You can spend hours in the gym working on your body, but if you aren’t confident with what you’ve got, your efforts could be wasted.

Worst case scenario, it’s a situation in the bedroom that has left them feeling deflated. When it comes to intimacy, both parties are incredibly vulnerable, but we’re also absent minded. In the heat of the moment, we can say something, dismiss something or even just giggle at something that rocks your partner’s confidence.

If your partner is lacking in confidence, this could soon start to have an impact on your sex life. So if you want your partner to feel confident and sexy as hell, try these top tips to boost their self esteem and reignite the passion.

Let them know how you feel

If you messed up and said something stupid, it’s time to own up to it. Let your partner know how you really feel and how much they mean to you. While women are typically more hung up on body image, men tend to worry about sexual performance. Make sure your partner knows that they look sexy as hell and their attention is something you crave.

Explore each other’s bodies

If your partner is feeling down, spending a little time just explore each other’s bodies and learning what turns you might help. Get back to the basics and explore each other. Bring your favourite massage oils and make it an experience to remember.

Look but don’t touch

Now that you’ve literally got to grips with each other’s bodies, now is the time to discover your own. Encourage your partner to explore their own body so they can teach you exactly what feels good. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you might be so stuck in a routine that you’ve forgotten what feels good. Now is a great time to explore.

Ask before introducing sex toys

Sex toys can be very intimidating if your partners isn’t expecting it. You might be saying “I want to spice things up,” but your partner might hear “you’re not performing.” Always have a conversaton before you bring any sex toys into the situation. It might just be a mini bullet vibe or a cock ring, but it can easily catch your partner at a vulnerable time.

We’ve written in the past about how to share what you want in the bedroom.

Focus on the whole picture

When you’ve been together for a while, you might not let your partner know just how much they mean to you as often as you did in the beginning. When the passion dies down, it’s easy to fall into a routine. If this happens, you might be guilty of taking your partner for granted. If you worry this has happened in your relationship, make sure you focus on the whole picture. Let your partner know you’re completely in love with their body, but you also love their personality.

Try a flirty gift

When your relationship is in a rut, it becomes harder to make grand gestures in the bedroom. Try giving your partner some sexy lingerie to try on to let them know that they are still the sexiest person in your world. If lingerie isn’t right for your partner, try a sex toy, a kinky board game, or even restraints to bring a touch a spice into the bedroom.

Check out our lingerie buying guide for more advice.

Give positive feedback

It’s easy to get selfish in the bedroom. Make sure you pay attention to your partner and give them positive feedback throughout every encounter. Let them know what feels good, and what they could do to make it feel even better. Don’t let this conversation die out after you’ve finished. Remind them about how good they make you feel. Maybe even mention if a particular move is stuck in your mind that you’d like to try again.

Banish shame from the bedroom

Make a promise to one another that shame and judgement will have no place in your relationship. If you decide to share your sexual fantasies, you need to keep an open mind and avoid shaming your partner for their deepest desires. Doing so will only diminish their passion and make them embarrassed to share again in the future.

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