Every relationship is unique and different things work for different people. But there are some common themes that you will find if you talk to people who consider themselves in a happy relationship. And you can use these are guidelines to help your new relationship become one of these as time goes by.
If you look at a list of the most common reasons for arguments between couples, you will find that the basis for the most popular ones are all around communication – not be listening, not thinking about your partner, that kind of thing. By communicating what you think, what you want but also chatting about the little things, you strengthen your bond.
Sometimes, after we finish the initial dating period, we stop asking questions, finding out about each other or how we are feeling. This can be a bad thing. Instead, keep a date mentality, paying attention to your partner and ask questions or throw out scenarios for their opinion. Keep the communication going.
Life can be pretty serious as well as busy and sometimes it can be easy to forget to have time for laughter and fun. We automatically find people who are funny to be attractive – it is often something that draws us to our partners in the first place. But once in the relationship, it is important to keep having a laugh and doing something fun and a bit mad. This might be going to a comedy club, trying a new activity together or even something sexy and funny like trying Adult Sex Toys for Her. The idea is to keep laughing and having a good time together.
A relationship without trust is a one with a short lifespan – emotions such as paranoia, suspicion and jealousy come to dominate life and the relationship can sour very quickly. It isn’t just a question of fidelity either but other types of trust – understanding when you are having a bad time and helping out, trusting your partner to know you well enough to help when your demons raise their heads. If we share our innermost fears and problems with someone, we then trust that they will use that information to help us, not to harm us.
Being in a relationship means you do a lot of things together but it is also important to still have things you do on your own or with others. Long lasting relationships often state that they have independence, and this helps the couple thrive. It might be going out for a meal with friends, taking an art class, even going away for a weekend with your siblings. Whatever it is, having some activities that don’t involve your partner is a good way to strengthen your relationship. And should something terrible happen down the line, you haven’t cut yourself off from everyone just to be with your partner.
Perhaps the most intangible secret to a long-lasting, happy relationship is putting work into it – but what does that mean? It means different things for different people. At first, you work at dating, getting to know someone and seeing if you are a good match to keep dating. When you have been together a while and are maybe moving in together, you work at adapting to sharing a house together.
For couples who have been together a long time, their secret is that they keep working at it. It might mean learning to adapt as life throws changes at you or trying something new to keep your relationship fresh. But whatever it is, if you both work at it, you will keep your relationship strong.