Dating is a rollercoaster of emotions – you are up and excited when a date goes well and down when it doesn’t. Adrenaline pumps when you meet someone who you really connect with and you hit it off. Or you feel the urge to give it all up and stay curled up on your sofa when it goes bad. This whole process can take its toll on the dater but there are certain behaviours you can use to help you cope better with it and be more successful in your search for love.
One of the most important things about dating is to take a break from it periodically. Constantly dating week after week can be tiring and disheartening or something confusing. Did you really like that date last weekend or are you just tired and can’t remember them well enough? Did that date really suggest another date or did you phase out from it all and misunderstand them?
While keeping your goals in mind, taking a break is important.
Some people treat dating like the lottery – if I go on enough dates, I will eventually win a relationship. But dating isn’t about the numbers. You need to really commit to every date because you never know which one could be ‘the one’ and if you don’t go half-hearted, too tired or not up for it, then you might miss that opportunity.
There will be dates that you just don’t connect and that’s fine. But for those ones where there’s some spark but you aren’t sure, don’t make snap judgements. Go on another date and see how it works, even a few dates. There’s no commitment involved but you may find the things you liked are stronger than the things you were unsure about.
We tend to try to protect ourselves emotionally and this can lead to us shutting off. A date isn’t going to get to know the real you if you are behind your walls during the date. So, allow yourself to be a little vulnerable and show your feelings to get a real sense of the other person.
Having good self-esteem means you can be yourself and you need to cultivate this. This means you can be yourself and the date will either take to you as who you are or move onto the next person. Either option is good. Don’t try to be the person your date wants as this will lead to disaster.
Dating is fun and meeting new and different people is a big part of it. But you also need to have some ideas about who you are looking for compatibility issues. This can be big and small issues and you should have some leeway in these ideas but use them as a guide. It can anything from the big stuff such as having kids to how you feel about using Sex Toys on Her for fun in the bedroom.
If you have had previous relationships that didn’t work out, make sure you understand why. By doing this, you can reduce the risk of repeating those mistakes. We are creatures of habit and can easily fall back into negative patterns unless we make a concerted effort to change them.
If you want to fall in love and start a long-term relationship, then you need to be ready for this. Don’t look for excuses to ignore it or try to force it where it isn’t. Just be receptive to the possibility and it will come.