Many people have lots of preconceptions about anal. And it’s a no-go for some individuals, no matter how persistent their partner is. Exploring anal for the first time can be daunting. But if vaginal penetration has become commonplace and routine, you might be ready to switch things up and explore new avenues of pleasure. Here are some of the things you need to know before trying anal.
A common misconception about anal is that participants are simply grinning and bearing it. In reality, when done correctly, anal should be just as pleasurable as vaginal sex, and it shouldn’t hurt at all. The anal muscles are trained to be a one-way system, so you need to learn how to control this and let things in. This can be achieved through anal toys like butt plugs, or simply by using a finger and getting used to relaxing into it.
The anal canal doesn’t have any natural lubrication, so you need to add your own, and don’t be shy about it. Since the anal canal is so tight, you can expect more to be lost on the way in, so you should apply and reapply as required. Choosing a lube specifically designed for anal is great as this is thicker and will stay put for longer.
Protection is also recommended. While you won’t be able to get pregnant from anal penetration, you should still think about protecting against STIs. Thicker condoms are recommended during anal to prevent breakage. And remember you need a new condom when switching between anal and vaginal sex.
A common reason that people avoid anal is that they are embarrassed about potential mess and smell. The simplest way to get around this is with proper preparation. An anal douche allows you to “rinse” your back passage and get rid of any residue, minimising the chances of mess or smell.
To use an anal douche, fill it with water and slowly insert it. Squeeze the entire contents out before removing the nozzle. After a few moments, you’ll feel ready to release. You can rinse until the water is clear and then have a shower to make yourself feel even more clean and fresh. Some days, you simply won’t be able to feel clean and may need to skip anal. Don’t stress about it and accept that this is simply part of the deal.
When we think about anal, most people think of penetration from behind, but this can be a little intense for your first time. Doggy style will allow your partner to get incredibly deep penetration, and this isn’t always welcome. Ease yourself into it with a spooning position. This will allow the receiving partner to have more control. Instead of giving them the freedom to thrust, you can back up onto their penis and control the speed and depth of penetration.
The anal canal has some serious nerve endings that deliver intense pleasure. Don’t be surprised if you’re able to squirt in this position. Pair anal with clitoral stimulation to discover incredible blended orgasms and maybe even learn you’re capable of squirting. Many women find it difficult to squirt during vaginal penetration as there is something “in the way”, but anal removes this obstacle.
You could also try using a vaginal toy for double penetration fun. This will be a unique sensation for your partner, as the walls between the anal and vaginal canal are quite thin, so they will be aware of the vaginal toy, particularly if it vibrates.
Anal sex can leave you feeling quite vulnerable, so aftercare is important. Many people like some time to clean up after anal sex and go to the bathroom. Talking about what works and what doesn’t work is another great form of aftercare. And simply snuggling up after sex is a simple way to build a strong connection. Building up to anal sex can be a big milestone in a relationship, so don’t take it for granted that it’s something that everyone can achieve.
While some people love anal, others struggle to get past the ick factor. If anal makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to take it off the table. While it’s great to be open to exploring new things in the bedroom, anal isn’t for everyone. Since it’s rarely a spontaneous thing, you might find that it’s something best reserved for special occasions, or you might decide that it’s more effort than it’s worth. The decision to explore anal for the first time and to continue with this journey is yours and yours alone, so don’t be too concerned if you find it isn’t for you.